Thursday, February 12, 2026

The Nshima "Pit Stop"

 Zambian men can be slow at everything. Slow to fix the leaking sink, slow to pay back a "small" loan, and slow to reply to a "Please Call Me." But have you ever seen a man when the Nshima is served while it’s still steaming? He will wash his hands with the speed of light and start "rolling" those lumps like he’s in a Formula 1 pit stop. By the time the wife brings the water to drink, the plate is so clean you can see your own reflection in it!

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The "Strategic Consultant" Hustle

 In Lusaka, you will meet a guy at Manda Hill wearing a sharp suit, carrying a laptop bag, and looking very busy. You ask what he does, and he says: "I am a Strategic Logistics & Procurement Consultant for International Trade." You get excited and ask if his company is hiring. He whispers: "Actually, boss, I’m just waiting for a guy who promised to buy me a shawarma if I help him find a buyer for his second-hand iPhone 8." The "Aura" is international, but the pocket is strictly local!

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The "I’m Not Hungry" Lie

 In Zambia, if you visit someone and they ask "Have you eaten?", the law says you must reply: "No, I’m fine, I just ate at home." Even if your stomach is currently playing the National Anthem because you haven't seen food since yesterday, you must sit there and watch them eat while you pretend to be interested in the news.

Don't starve your funny bone! Get your daily serving of laughs: 👉 Click to Feast: https://mtnfunnybone.com


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Mom’s "High Definition" WhatsApp Stickers

 Why do Zambian mothers love those "Good Morning" stickers so much? She sends you a picture of a rose with glitter that is moving so much it uses 15MB of data just to open. You reply "Thanks Mom," and she sends back a 5-minute voice note asking why you didn't include a "God Bless" in your reply.

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The "Boarding School" Trunk (Part 2)

 The Zambian boarding school trunk is a miracle of engineering. It’s a metal box that somehow contains:

  • 40 packets of biscuits

  • 2kg of powdered milk

  • 5 jars of peanut butter

  • And exactly zero notebooks. By the second week of term, the biscuits are gone and you are now using the trunk as a chair because you sold your actual chair for more "Aka-W" (biscuits).Keep your "trunk" full of vibes! 👉 Refill your humor here: https://mtnfunnybone.c


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The VIP "One-Bottle" Legend

 You see a guy in the VIP section of a club in Showgrounds. He has one bottle of expensive champagne on the table, surrounded by six girls. He’s looking like a billionaire. But if you look closely, the seal on that bottle hasn't been broken for three hours. He’s just "parking" the bottle so he can stay in the VIP!

Don't "park" your laughter. Get the real VIP treatment here: 👉 Join the Big Men: https://mtnfunnybone.com/


The "South Africa" Accent

 A guy goes to Johannesburg for just three days. He returns to Lusaka and suddenly he’s calling Nshima "Maize Porridge" and asking: "Oh my gosh, how do you guys survive in this heat? And what is the exchange rate for Kwacha to Rands again? I’ve totally forgotten!" Bambo, last week you were drinking Munkoyo from a used sprite bottle in Chilenje. Stop the "Aura!"

Don't forget your roots, but do get the best jokes. 👉 Stay Local, Laugh Global: https://mtnfunnybone.com


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The Nshima "Pit Stop"

 Zambian men can be slow at everything. Slow to fix the leaking sink, slow to pay back a "small" loan, and slow to reply to a ...